Teaching old dogs new tricks

  • Jul. 6th, 2017 at 10:39 PM
thevoidalone: (Default)
Today, July 6th, is my birthday. I was born in the year 1987. So this being 2017, I am officially an old dog now, at 30 years old!
As much as I might joke, this milestone has not set off any quarter life crises for me. I am comfortable with my age, and feel i'm hitting my stride in many regards, and am thankful that mom and our family have made it through the trial that has been this hip replacement process. Upwards and onwards, friends!

Now, today has been a pretty damn good day. I did not get as much sleep as I might have hoped to get (4 hours?). But, I woke up, and listened to some music to start out the day, and promptly brought up a new tab with the amazon tracking for my package that I was expecting. My birthday gift from my parents. A corsair strafe mechanical keyboard with cherry mx red switches, and rgb backlights! It arrived this morning at about 10 AM, and I spent the first part of my day setting it up with some cool community made lighting profiles (cause i'm too lazy to make my own lol). I was not expecting such a major difference in the feel of typing on a membrane keyboard and a mechanical one. I'm really really enjoying it (and is also why I was a little verbose in my last post, if i'm being 100% honest lol). I absolutely love it, though. It's the first step in a planned upgrade of all of my computing equipment, the next and biggest being a gaming computer and new l-shaped desk to make my room a little more well organized.

My corsair strafe rgb (cherry mx red) mechanical keyboard

Then, this afternoon, I spent time chatting on discord, and watching American Pickers. About 4:45 some of mom's close friends came over for a small birthday gathering, and one of them gave me a gift card for the movie theater so I can take both me and my step-dad to the movies, and the other gave me a $5. They had some grilled things for supper (I ate while watching American Pickers). They ate, and chatted for a while after. After that we had some cake. When they left I watched some more American Pickers, and then about 8-ish I hopped in the shower. I took some pictures to document myself on my 30th birthday, cause I felt that was a pretty important milestone to document for myself pictorially.

After I got out of the shower, I sat down and started writing on here, and that brings us up to the current time. After I get done posting here, I plan on opening up my bottle of whisky, and having a couple of drinks, listening to music, and playing some video games. A good end to the day.

it's me
thevoidalone: (Default)
    It seems once again, that it has been entirely far too long since my last update. There's been so much goin' on in my crazy world. I'll just go in chronological order here, and I realize that there's going to be a small gap that isn't covered, nothing much happened in that time.

    So, let's start in late April of 2016. We decided to paint the house. The walls were covered with this ugly pattern that was printed on the wallboard in most of the building, with a couple of patches of wallpaper here and there. We headed out to Menards, and picked out our colors for the entire house. For the living room, an off-white beige-ish color was chosen, and that's the room we started painting in. It was by far the easiest room in the house to paint, and I believe we did that in a half day or so. The next day we did the hallway, which was done in the same color as the living room. That didn't take too horribly long either, and we wrapped that up in an hour or two. That evening I tackled my bedroom, which I chose a dark gray for, and so it needed a couple of coats to get the right color on the wall. Painting itself wasn't too bad, but moving all of my stuff out of my cramped room was quite a task, one which I don't think i'll be repeating any time soon unless necessary lol. 

  Next, we tackled the kitchen. We chose a bright yellow for this room, and it just did not want to stick to the wall. We tried primer (2 coats!!), and still nothing. We finally gave up and painted it in the same color as the living room. Then we moved on to my parent's bed and bathroom. We chose a light blue. There was wallpaper on all of the walls in this room, though, so we spent a good amount of time peeling off the paper, and the scraping off the glue and backing by spraying it with water, and scraping it off with a rubber scraper. After the wallpaper was dealt with, painting was a breeze. 

  Lastly, there was my bathroom, which I chose to do in the same color as my bedroom. It did not work out so hot. My bathroom is small, and i'm not exactly the skinniest of the minnies, so tight working quarters and low ceilings make for a bad paint job if you don't do your prep work, which I did not. It's all just aesthetic mishaps though, and can be fixed by the next owners of the house if they want to change it, cause it doesn't really bug me. I'd rather look at a bad paint job than the tacky pattern that stared me in the face before.

 We spent the entire first half of May painting, and overall it was a fun, and rewarding experience. While we were painting, I had reconnected with Belle and the gang, who I hadn't really had contact with since that January, when things collapsed between me and Jess. She was still around them when she started basically giving me the silent treatment, and I did not want to share space in any sort of way with her at that point. Anyhow, she had reached out to me, and I had re-joined the skype group chat, but didn't have much time to chat because of the painting and such. The beginning of summer was a busy time for everyone, and the group was kind of dead for a bit. 

  We'll fast-forward to mid-August here (well, kind of). When I had re-joined the group, there was a new member of the group that Belle had met in person and had become close with. Her name was Vikki. At first she wasn't around a whole lot because of school/work, and most of the time she wasn't doing on of those two things was spent with her (monogamous) boyfriend. So, I didn't really get to talk to her at all, beyond a hey. In mid-August, however, there was an odd string of calls that were happening every night, instead of our usual weekly group call. We quickly took notice of each other, and were exchanging private messages. They were innocent at first, us chatting for an hour or two at a time when the call started and then when she started getting sleepy her trying to deny that fact, cause she wanted to keep talking to me. She is a little, and when she gets tired she dives straight into little space, and it brought out the caregiver in me almost subconsciously. Well a couple of weeks go on, and it's obvious as hell that we are both crushing on each other. But, due to her being monogamous, I toed a pretty hard line about what we could and could not say to each other, out of respect to both her and her boyfriend. [I do realize now, that this was also my subconscious feeling guilty af for what was happening]. 

  Vikki's birthday was coming up that weekend, and Belle went over on that Thursday to give her the birthday card & gift she had gotten her, and to hang out. I used this opportunity to ask Belle to see what Vikki thought about me, in an unfiltered manner that at time I knew I would not get from Vikki herself due to her being unsure if speaking candidly would allow herself the necessary time to make a rational and informed decision about the dichotomy she found herself in; To stay with her long-term monogamous boyfriend, whom she was planning on settling down with at some point, or give herself over to what she was feeling not only for me, but for a few people it turned out (though, I do think I was the largest factor in the decision). 

  The night of Vikki's birthday, she got entirely way too drunk (it was her 21st), and saw one of the people she had feelings for, and gave into them. I'm unsure of how far things went with them, but I am pretty sure they made out at least. She called me on my phone, and me, her, and the 3rd party that she had lost control with spent a good hour and a half calming her down from a hysterical crying fit of drunken guilt and regret. Things even out a little bit, emotionally, and little by little we are having a harder time containing our emotional and sexual urges with each other, as we are spending more and more time together. However, I still toed the line strictly, because I knew if I did not I would not be able to live with myself. It reaches a point though, where she knows she has to tell her boyfriend. When she went to see him, she had planned on saying that she wanted to be with me and a couple of other specific people. I don't recall exactly, but I don't think she told him that night when she got there, or before they had sex. 

  She did tell him the next morning, and naturally he did not react well, as I don't think anyone would have if they are blindsided by this sort of thing, and never questioned their monogamy (I did not have this exact experience, but feeling betrayed is something we can all universally relate to). So, he gives her an ultimatum, and she contemplates it for a while. She eventually reached a conclusion that she could not turn back from this realization that she was polyamorous [or from me, cause as much as she might have hurt me, I do very much believe her feelings for me were genuine]. So she broke it off with him. It was not long before we were dating, and things were pretty good for a while after this, barring a couple of minor incidents that aren't worth getting into here.

  Moving on to December-ish. Work is getting to her, as well as the time consumption of having multiple relationships, and school. She had made some friends in one of her classes, and I encouraged her to hang out with them. I wasn't overly concerned about things, because she had been honest with me completely, and I with her, and up to this point we were communicating well (I won't say great, or wonderfully, cause there was definitely room for improvement on my end for a number of reasons, and I can't say what negative thoughts she'd have about it now or then). But, a Skype conversation with me, one of the group chat members from Belle's group, vikki, and one of the friends from school she had made, had made me a little hesitant. I didn't care that something might happen with this guy, even if I felt adding more on the pile after having rushed into things with the 3 of us who she was dating in some form or fashion was unwise. I just wanted honesty about it. I didn't want her to hide things from me. I did not communicate this well at all, through a filter of insecurity and paranoia that I found myself not knowing how to confront because I had never really experienced it before at this intensity. 

  At some point there was an argument that did not end well, and we had talked lengthily about things after that, and I'd thought we'd patched things up nicely. But, I noticed that we started talking over voice chat less and less, and that she withdrew. Not completely, but enough for me to notice. We had not talked for a couple of days due to her working and staying over at Belle's house, and me being busy with stuff around here. Well, she told me to go and read a livejournal entry she had posted. And I did. And lo, and behold, there it is. She had sex with this guy without telling me. Again, I didn't care that they had sex, I just felt hurt that she did not trust me enough to tell me. After that contact dwindled to eventual nothingness, and I chalked that up to that. After some more time away from the shared social circle, I reconnected with Belle in a minor fashion, but long enough to learn that she had been cheating on her as well. Which, I wasn't really super shocked by. I had kind of done my grieving over the relationship in the late December-February period of the year, and by that time I was ready to hop back up on the dating horse if the opportunity presented itself.

  In late February, looking for some interaction with a polyamorous community beyond the incestuous social circle of Belle and friends, as much as I love Belle and Beast, it clearly just wasn't working there, I was browsing /r/poly, and saw an ad for a polyamorous discord server. I had used discord before, but it had been a while. So I downloaded the program again, and signed up with a new username as i'd forgotten my old one. I join the server, and am greeted warmly by everyone. There is a sizable faction of the server that lives in Minnesota, which isn't far from me, and unbeknownst to me at the time I joined, i'd find myself there a few times. 

 In March, we got word that mom would be having hip replacement surgery. She had an artificial joint in that hip already, but the joint was deteriorating, and was metal on metal, which was causing cuts and pain inside the body. A couple of set-backs happened, but eventually on the last day of March mom had surgery #1, where the old joint was removed, and spacer was placed inside the hip. This was due to the amount of infection that was occurring in the site due to the cuts from the faulty joint. When she came home, she had pretty much no mobility at all, and we were afraid that we wouldn't be able to care for her at home. But, as time went on, we proved to ourselves that we could, and once we got everything figured out things went smoothly. 

 During this entire process, i'm chatting with everyone in the poly server, and getting pretty close with quite a few. They were a nice pressure release valve for me, and it's been an overall positive environment for me to find myself in. Before I joined the server, I was questioning my polyamory, as my first 2 attempts did not go all that well. But, being in this place re-affirmed things for me. 

 Mom's second surgery, to remove the spacer, and have the new complete joint put in was scheduled for June 5th. We got prepared, and made the trek up to the Mayo clinic for the umpteenth time this year (all worth it in the end though!!). We had arrived at around 8 or so in the morning, and by 10:30 we were informed that it could be 1 or 2 PM before she even got into surgery. At that point she told me to go, but before I left her, I asked her if I could take the van and meet up with some friends (from the poly server, though I told mom it was the hearthstone server because i'm not out as poly to my parents or pretty much anyone I know here in my town). She agreed, and I was ecstatic. I told her how these people had been an outlet for me during the past couple of months, and she said go have fun, meet your friends. And, so I did. I set out to a specific member that I knew it was cool if I hung out with them while they worked. We talked for a couple of hours after I got there, and at first I had asked about grabbing a bite to eat, not thinking anything about anyone else joining us.

   A co-worker who's also in the server, but was not working that day, was talking to us, and mentioned that they wanted to come hang out with us at work, and so I went and picked them up, and we hung out. During the rest of the afternoon, plans were made for a few more people to join us for grabbing dinner, at the mall of america. I had an absolutely grand time at each point in that day, and got to meet people i'd been talking to for a few months, and got better acquainted with someone who had just recently joined the server. Needless to say though, I hadn't smiled like that in quite a few months (since faling in love with Vikki, really) -- and although I do have crushes on a couple of people there, it was all of these completely platonic experiences that were happening that brought this smile to my face. 

  Needless to say, it's been a long road this past year and some months, but it's not been without it's twist and turns, ups and downs, goods and bads [and whatever further cliche you might think to add here]. As they say, it's not about the destination, but the [long, strange, and rewarding] journey. Mom's recovery from the second surgery has been good, with one minor complication (a hematoma) arising that seems to be clearing up, but we're not sure. I spent last night in the emergency room with her because she was in so much pain. 

  I'm going to end this post here, but i'll be posting another one right after this one, because there's another important topic that I want to address (but I don't think i'll be as loquacious about that since i've word vomited so much in this post lol). 

Break-ups, Realizations, Miscellania

  • Mar. 12th, 2016 at 4:22 AM
thevoidalone: (Default)
So, here it is again, another year and some months since the last time I posted. I'm sorry personal blogs, I do not mean to neglect you, but time has a nasty habit of slipping away on me. I do want to kind of start writing at least weekly summaries of what the fuck has been going on in my life. Cause sometimes memory gets a bit spotty, especially when you're stressed. But, I digress.

There's a lot that's happened since the last time I wrote in the blog, so I will focus on the recent past, up until the present.

Let's start with probably the most significant thing. Jessica. I met her through a group of mutual friends that I had met years ago, on tumblr. At first we didn't talk in private, but soon enough during one of our group calls where we answered surveys together, we both dropped hints that we wanted to maybe get to know each other better, and see where it went. We talked for about a week before I asked her out on a skype date, and we watched some movies together. After the movie we stayed up all night talking, and decided that we were officially going to be a couple. I went on vacation with my parents in early October (which I will cover in a separate section), and then right after we got home, I turned around and went and visited her in Oklahoma. The visit went well, and we were pretty head-over-heels in love after that. Things were fine until the end of December, when she went to visit her other partners (the same mutual friends that introduced us, she's poly, and so am I; The catch was she wanted me to be monogamous for her. She could not handle me being with anyone else for some reason. I went along with it, but it seems like a mistake in hindsight). After she got home she was very much withdrawn and depressed. That is okay, it's going to happen sometimes.

But days of no communication turned into weeks, weeks into a couple of month. I knew something was amiss. Turns out a new fella that we all knew, because they were an ex of one of the people that introduced us, had been visiting her the at the beginning of February. She did not mention this to any of us, and although she maintains that she didn't cheat, everything in my being, and her behavior said otherwise. I decided right then and there that neither of us were happy in the situation for whatever reason, and parted ways. It's odd, I was deeply in love with this woman, and when things were starting to go off the rails, and until the very end I was fighting for us. Now that it's been over for a little bit of time, i've processed all of the stuff, and the anger has faded. I'm left with simple confusion over why she felt the need to hide something from me, when the terms of our relationship allowed for what she was doing as long as it was in the open.

Now that I got that out of the way, I mentioned my vacation with my parents. We went to Branson, Missouri. We had a good time at all of the shows we saw, and we all got to spend some good quality time together. My favorite parts of the trip were when I got to go off on my own. The first of those things being to take a trip through the Titanic museum they have there. The outside has a life-size replication of the front however-much of the ship.

Me standing in front of the Titanic Museum, in Branson, Missouri

There's me standing in front of it, just for reference. They had a bunch of artifacts from the actual ship, a lot of replicas and models of the different mechanical things on the ship, and information about all of her passengers. They also had simulations of the inclines that people on the deck would have faced when the ship was sinking, and a bucket full of water cooled to the recorded water temperature the night of the sinking with a clock to challenge yourself to see how long you can keep your hand in there. I was able to keep my hand in there for a minute and a half, which is a long time, but pain sets in about 20 seconds after our body comes into contact with the water. The other cool thing was that I got my first tattoo. It's the letter "O" from the logo for the band Opeth, which they are one of my favorite bands. I chose this as my first one for a few reasons. The design of the letter "O" is ornate, and looks good regardless of whether or not you know the band or not. While it obviously is something I got to symbolize my love for the band, it's also something to symbolize my love for music, and especially metal as a whole.

Here is my tattoo in all it's glory:

So, the last 6 months or so emotionally have been a roller coaster. From soaring highs, to abyssal lows. But, I've come back to baseline, and in the past couple of weeks have been reaching out into the internet to have some new social experiences, and I said what the hey and decided to take the plunge into websites that are specifically for dating. Since I took a little break from one of my 2 main social circles online because of the fact that they were all very intertwined with the person I had just gotten out of a relationship from, I decided to seek out human contact elsewhere. That let me to two places. Reddit and OkCupid. It's getting late so I won't recount the Reddit (a skype group) story here, but let me tell you about OkCupid. I make my profile and in the first hour or so I get a message from a girl who lives a couple hours away from me. At first she seems cool. We have a good chat, and what have you. I go to bed, wake up the next morning to an "I love you" message on my skype. I was extremely uncomfortable with this, and was honest and told her so. She proceeded to flip out on me, and say I was an asshole. I proceeded to block her means of communication with me. To put it tactfully, I just did not see it working out at all. Hopefully I have better luck in the future. There's more to say, but I will post those things tomorrow. Mainly the reddit story, and my realization that I really am polyamorous.

Musing with the Moon

  • May. 21st, 2014 at 4:51 AM
thevoidalone: (pic#10089873)
So, I proffer this update to you all. Things have been a bit well..weird as of late, at least around the house. Mom has been drifting in and out of depressive moods, beating me and my step-father about the head with the whiplash of these aforementioned moods. I am used to them, as they are not a new occurence, but they have increased in frequency and severity. I hear 2 different stories of what occurred when I inquire, and can only imagine the truth lie somewhere in the middle. However, it is frustrating to see two people who I know in the bottom of my heart be unable to comfort one another in their time of need due to whatever reservations are keeping them from each other at this time; the clockwork of this situation is something to which I have only theories, suspicions, and not hard answers. The most recent flare stemming from a camel-back trunk which belonged to my recently late grandmother. It began Sunday, when Gary called brother Steve (a congregant of my parents’, who often provides him with rides when mom doesn’t feel like going to church – usually due to physical pain) before asking if she would like to go to church as well. It’s usually a safe assumption that she does not want to go as of late, so I understand his thought process in proceeding as though she were not going, because it has been her MO as of late. Well, they both ended up going, and coming home together. But she told me that he had offered said trunk up to another congregant whose name I do not recall, without asking her permission, for offer at a garage sale to benefit the church. I didn’t inquire further Sunday evening, and went to bed shrugging it off. I woke up late Monday afternoon, around 4 PM. Gary and I had discussed the evening prior going to see the new Godzilla film, and assumed she would give us a ride. I awoke to find her in a right foul state, begrudgingly giving us cab fare so we could attend the film. She sent me some spiteful text messages, as she often does when she’s in this mood, telling me that if I do not seek employment then i will be kicked out, or have things taken away from me. This is a recurring theme when she gets in a mood like this, knowing full well that I am unable to because of the duties I must fulfill for them. I take this all in stride because I know all of this isn’t really her, it is her pain and hurt speaking untruths in the guise of her person. That’s why I don’t really give any of these outbursts any sense of umbrage, because I know they aren’t her true feelings. Also, I note that sometimes Gary presents signs of psychological regression, almost childlike behavior at times, things that I can only hold his disease and years of alcoholism responsible for, so I equally try and pay them no mind. I know this is probably ramble-y as hell to read, but I must write these things into hard account if only to acknowledge these thoughts, and to cope with them. Back to where we left off in our story though, we attended the film and had an enjoyable time, and it was substantially a good time and the first time since that we have really gotten to go out and do something just the two of us since he fell ill a few years ago. We arrived home and she was still sulking in her bedroom, lights out. She proceeded to send a few more nasty texts, but a couple hours after I was home asked me to retrieve a few things for her in a civil manner. One of the things she was begrudging me in her earlier messages was my sleeping in – I can only guess because she wanted to go visit Donna (a family friend, who was a mutual friend of my grandmother’s and that’s how we were introduced to her was through my grandma, and she had recently had a stroke), and I had tried to accommodate this request before but she said she did not want to go. Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t. Anyways the point was I took the hint from that little cue, popped a couple of Tylenol PM and promptly turned in earlier than I had done the previous week. I awoke and mom was her normal self, much to my relief. Today was a good day, and I must paint this post with that fact - because to do so without including the fact that we have great days too would be dishonest. I woke up around 10, did my daily quests in hearthstone, and after went looking for her. I checked their bedroom at first but Gary told me she was outside. I helped her do a few chores in the garden that she asked me too, and then told me we were going to visit Donna at 3. And we did just that. First stopping at Casey’s for requisite supplies (a cold beverage and some cigarettes for us all). Our visit with Donna went well. She is walking, talking, and doing all of the things she did pre-stroke. So it was good to see her doing so well after being so worried about her. I know it freaked mom out a hell of a lot after losing grandma so recently. We then stopped at mcdonald’s for supper on the way home, which was delicious [I’m a total sucker for their french fries]. I helped her water the plants a little while after dinner, and then I talked to a couple of friends - one on facebook and another on the phone before joining raid. Raid went well for what it was, personally improving on raid awareness and mechanics though my DPS numbers are lacking for some reason. It’s either a trinket i’m missing off of a specific boss (Thok, it’s best in slot for me), or my recent move to gem/reforge to critical strike instead of mastery is sinking my bottom line on damage output, I will have to play around to test some theories on this. But overall we did better on mechanics on heroic immerseus and that’s what really matters because DPS means shit if you can’t stay alive long enough to hit the boss. After raid I played hearthstone again with Peanut and Ang (short for angelus - a nickname for a dear friend who is a big fan of buffy as are most of my friends), and then after they went to bed I played guitar for a bit before pouring a drink and firing up the first episode of NBC’s Dracula which i’ve been wanting to watch for a little bit now, and finally go taround to doing so. 2 Episodes in and i’m enjoying it for what it is and the actors within the series. Before I part this evening I must apologize again for my lack of updates, not only on this blog but my main one as well - I just have not taken the time to put things in my queue for some reason, but I still glance at tumblr every day so feel free to send me an ask whenever if you want to get my attention. I was kind of not feeling like doing much for a while a week or so ago - due to my left ear becoming blocked after a misguided q-tip found it’s way into my inner ear canal, frustratingly temporarily deafening my left ear. I wouldn’t mind it so much if music were mixed in a different manner than it is, but as such when you are deaf in one ear temporarily, permanent, or in some other fashion such as malfunctioning audio equipment in which only one channel works, you can only hear one channel of the multi-layered aural works that you are trying to digest. It is a most frustrating quest in a world of monster riffs and bellowed verses that one can only half-heartedly enjoy. So I pretty much buried myself in re-watching Smallville, and re-formatting my computer and organizing my external hard drive. A digital spring cleaning if you may. Well, I think I have scrawled enough in this digital verbal vomitorium of a blog for one evening.

-I bid adieu for the moment,

thevoidalone: (Default)
So, I guess i'll just dive right in. A lot has happened since I wrote on this blog the last time. The biggest thing that happened was that my grandma (step-grandmother if we're speaking in the strictest of terms), passed away. She had ovarian cancer, and apparently she had the cyst since 2011 but refused treatment for it. So, the majority of my winter was spent going out to the nursing home to see her, helping mom clean out her house and have an estate sale, and then the funeral. I'm not a stranger to losing family, but this is my first time being so close the entire process, and actually being cognitive of what was going on the whole time. When my biological grandmother passed away 13 years ago, mom shielded me from a lot of because she knew I wouldn't be able to handle it, and for that I am now aware of just how much of a good thing that was for me at the time. I am so thankful that I got to spend a little more time this time with my Grandma before she passed on, and that we were here in town to take care of her. I will say that however, selling the house has been an absolute nightmare. The people mom sold to were being real and utter shits. They were grandma's neighbors across the street, and members of my parents' congregation, and people they considered friends. Apparently they had mom sign a paper when she was a) on some medication that affected her judgement and b) when we were trying to deal with grandma's funeral arrangements and the like. So they got mom when she was at her most vulnerable and took advantage of it. I wasn't expecting this to happen, because they always seemed like reasonable people. But, it's pretty much all over and done with as of today, and maybe mom can finally get some closure, and some real relief from the stress that mom puts on herself by worrying so much about everything.

So, the last time I wrote an entry here, it was about the swath of drama that caused me to fuck off from my guild in World of Warcraft of 3 years. I took a bit of time off from the game, and played Hearthstone heavily, and dealt with real life shit that was going on. A few weeks ago, Blizz announced that Siege of Orgrimmar normal / heroic modes were available to be raided cross-realm immediately following the announcement. So, I saw my opportunity to hunt for new guilds, or at least progression for the moment. I queued into a 25m pug that night, and got lucky, seeing a good guild that was looking to do shit but that didn't take itself too seriously, and most importantly recognizes that hey sometimes real life shit happens. I only have my one toon in the guild over there atm cause i'm not paying to server transfer all of my toons over cause that's just way too damn expensive, but I have my main, my death knight, and I have since continued to kick asses and take names with him. I've also as previously mentioned been playing Hearthstone. I got to rank 14 last season before the ranks reset, and am currently at rank 15. Last season I was playing a lot of control pally, and now I'm playing ramp druid. I have been lucky as hell, getting 3 legendaries in the last month. Ysera, Rag, and Leeroy (I just got Leeroy today!!). I am so excite about the Naxxramas adventure mode they are putting in the game soon, and it can't come fast enough!

Other than that I haven't really been doing a whole hell of a lot, except for watching tv/movies on netflix and other places online. I've watched a lot of random shit (sabrina, ax men, etc). But, it is fucking game of thrones season again hooray for that. Season 4 has been absolutely nuts and i'm loving every minute of it. I have been driving a lot more, but just around the park here to get mail, but still it's getting me more comfortable behind the wheel. One of my best friends might come visit me in July. It's something we've been wanting to do for a number of years right now but as you all know situations don't leave me in a good position to be away from here for more than a week. I also took a trip to the casino for funsies with mom a week and a half ago, and that royally fucked my sleep schedule, but I think have that remedied now, hopefully. I'm sure getting drunk for the Game of Thrones premiere didn't help in that regard but fuck it was Jack Daniels and i'm weak when it comes to Jack. It just tastes so good. The hangover was a shitlord, though.

I also did something I never thought i'd do software wise. I switched my music playing software. When I was out at the casino with mom, my skullcandy's finally went out. I had made a comment a week earlier when we were at target (where I bought them), that they'd lasted a long time. Well, fucking jinx man. So, I purchased a new pair. JVCs, a great set of headphones as long as you have a decent equalizer to soften the bass a bit cause the bass in these headphones is powerful as shit, okay. I was using winamp, but now i'm using AIMP3. Overall it seems to be a tiny bit less memory intensive, and as I said the EQ definitely does the trick w/ these new headphones. While we're on the subject of music, things are going to be exciting here in music land for me. The new Lacuna Coil album is out (which I haven't listened to yet because I forgot). Angela Gossow stepped down as the vocalist from Arch Enemy, and was replaced by former The Agonist vocalist Alyssa white-gluzman (sp?). I didn't mind the new single I heard, but i'm really gonna miss Angela. Sure the last couple albums could've been a little better, but she still had an awesome warface and a bestial fucking growl. The new Opeth is coming out in June, I think. I have come around on the "Heritage" record, and I love it now, but i'm still not a giant fan of the guitar tone on it. It's just a little too "warm". The clean vocals don't bother me as i'm a fan of Mikael's cleans just as much as his growls. Seeing them last year was still one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and it really made Katatonia grow on me by leaps and bounds. They have made a spot in my permanent rotation of tunes. Also there are new Tool and Testament albums in production, so we'll have to see if those materialize at all this year or not. Still dreaming about a new Dimmu record, if it's been this long either it's not coming or it's going to fucking steamroll us by how brutal it is.

I think I will go ahead and end this here, but with the intent to blog a bit more regularly. Possibly even once a day. I really do want to write on here more though. For now though, here's the first contribution to that end.

The events of January 31st, 2014

  • Feb. 1st, 2014 at 1:12 PM
thevoidalone: (Default)
Basically, this whole Darren and Jan reached it's conclusion, at least for my involvement in it last night.

Darren, quit the guild on all of his toons yesterday when Jan broke up with him after finding out that he lied about his pictures. His one profile pic on facebook, all the pics he sent. All fake. He ADMITTED THIS.

Made up another lie to cover up the first lie, that he had to have "reconstructive jaw surgery", which was later confirmed by a family member of his who is also in guld as bullshit.

So, with all of this information, and the abscence of pretty much any semblance of order going on, and this being a cycle that's happened in the guild since i've been in it really at least with him gquitting - happens every 1 or 2 months - I figured that although yeah it's about Jan and D's relationship, the guild as a whole deserves to know that they are playing with someone who is a dishonest person.

So meeting goes fine whatever. I can only assume Darren is chatting with people as the meeting's going on or after it's over. Cause basically after the ensuing facebook conversation, I get made out to be on an "anti-darren campaign" and I was like fuck yeah I am. I'm not going to sit here and know that this motherfucker lied to a person he claimed to love for 3 years and not call that into question, i don't care if he's too much of a chickenshit to come defend himself.

Well, after meeting i'm on Skype with Jan and Lou (another guildmate who had my back) and everything was going fine for a while.

Then I noticed jan got reaaaaaaaaaal quiet, but I could hear her typing. I can only assume she was talking to Darren but i got a pretty giant knife of a message in the back.

"What you ultimately did kenny was not only go behind my back and spreading my private business. But you also ruined another person's life. No one deserves that no matter what they do. Darren has done more good than harm. And I know you thought that it was in my best interests or the guild best interest but you are wrong. And even lu said people don't understand the situation. So why include them on a topic they know nothing about? Honestly I'm pissed and hurt. And you became the second person in a row to lose my trust."

So, I really at that point felt utterly and completely done with the whole situation. I told jan that basically I couldn't continue giving her a life saver if she wasn't willing to take it, wished her the best in life, but said that I had to end our friendship there because it was too much for me. I then gquit on all of my characters, deleted mostly everyone from the guild from everywhere.


Christmas Shenanigans

  • Dec. 26th, 2013 at 8:03 AM
thevoidalone: (Default)
So here’s how my christmas went. Spent the morning watching silly shows (fast food mania, finished up river monsters) and played a bit of hearthstone. I helped mom cook, and then we opened presents. I got a Cell phone (which I knew what that was since I picked it out lol), a microSD card for the phone, and a charging station to set the phone and my ipod in by my bed at night. There was an issue with the phone when I opened it, though. They shipped it with the wrong battery, and well that makes it a paperweight for the next 2-4 days, lol. In my stocking I got a giant hershey bar with a snowman on it, a candy cane full of reesey cups, and some scratch tickets which I won 2 bucks on (yay silly thing to buy with $2 - maybe a pack of cards on hearthstone to get the free gold gelbin mekkatorque card). After that we went up to the hospital and visited with my grandma. She’s doing alright, considering, but it was good to see her. I just wish I had been a lil’ more awake when I was there, cause by that time I was kind of out of it. Also a giant ugh to winter cause I was freezing when I woke up this morning and i’m a little congested. Right now I am jamming out and backing up things that are on my external that aren’t vital/too big to do so to the cloud, and then erasing them off my external. I also cleaned up my internal PC hard drive, woot. Just trying to make some room for the massive amounts of hard drive space capping stuff for gifs takes. I am gonna make spaghetti for dinner tonight, I think, and watch the Doctor Who christmas episode, and try and get something in order for my tumblr theme/sidebar cause christmas is over now.